Men's Match Reports

I write this document under strict orders from Grand Moff Tarkin (aka Andy Roberts)
His Supreme Excellency has determined that previous reportage was too stern; too harsh. Thus, in attempt to placate our masters I shall attempt to inscribe a generous mix of subterfuge and slush: combined...

After a close away loss to Addiscombe the Shadows were up for the game against a mid table Epsom. With Rob the skipper away on Stag due duties it was up to Shadows Veteran Tom Copeland to motivate the team...

The morning of the game began with an email from Rob letting us know we had about 4 players available for the match. The lead up was disrupted further as Captain Organised forgot the kit, putting himself in the firing line for DOD before push-back - an impressive feat. Fortunately one by one more players turned up we started the game with a fairly strong looking starting 11...

When I came to scribble this I was reminded of a swimming pool I sat around quite a lot back in the Summer of (January)1993 just outside of Johannesburg South Africa...

As the sun shone and blue sky became the backdrop to the few floating clouds merrily drifting on their way. Ten hopeful’s descended onto Guildford Hockey Club, hopeful that we would be able to find an additional player. Alas, to no prevail. We had a keeper and an umpire, thank you Jeremy for umpiring.

There was a time when people would write and thank me for writing home truths. Now the glut is over and it was left to a 'Bill Oddie' character in the bar afterwards who bears no resemblance to the Gondoliers or jocularity per say, to inform me in no uncertain terms that: he doesn't understand the match reports...

What a difference a week makes.....

Last week our 4-2 victory over Bank of England was a triumph for hard work and converting our chances. This week the final touch eluded us...

................There are two types of match reports:

Easy ones and ones that require a great deal of dexterity.

This is the latter..............

What to say, Where to start, How to finish?

I knew as soon as I saw the name of the opposition, "Hobblers," that it was going to be an idiosyncratic game; and one we would probably lose...

We heard them before we saw them.  A low, murmuring, grumble slowly crescendoing into whimpers, wails, moans, cries, wassails and complaints heralding the impending arrival of the Warminster Farmers......